Is it my fault?

Sometimes people can feel guilty that someone you love and care about has a problem with drink or drugs. If you didn’t care about the person it wouldn’t affect you.

You may also be told by the person who is drinking or using drugs, or by others, that it is because of you that they have a problem with drink or drugs.

It is not your fault.

Drinking or using drugs is an attempt at coping with whatever is going on in that person’s life. They drink or use drugs because they gain something from it or because it helps them to avoid certain things. There are alternative ways of coping. There is a choice.

Our Values
Principles and Approach to Substance Misuse

At the same time this does not mean the person who is drinking or using drugs should be blamed.

Living with this situation can be very frustrating. At times you may feel angry. At times you may feel the temptation to blame yourself, the person who is drinking or using drugs, or others such as professionals.

Blaming the drinker / drug user may make you feel better for a short while but it is unlikely to help. They need help to find other ways of dealing with their life other than alcohol or drugs.

Similarly blaming professionals may make you feel better for a short while. However, they do not have the power to change the person, just the same as you don’t. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for help for yourself or the drinker/drug user if you feel the relevant agencies aren’t doing enough.

How can I help them change?
How do I cope?
We all need support

Top